Eating together
One thing I have found since starting this blog is how coincidences in trains of thought occur. More than once I have found myself serendipitously encountering the same subject in different areas of my life. And so it is with sharing.
Yesterday I wrote about the fashion for sharing small dishes. Last night we went to see the most wonderful film - go see it - Arrival. Not at all the same thing, and there certainly wasn't any food in the film but it was very definitely about sharing, about communion and communication, about understanding. Indeed the disaster point in the film was not, as is usual, when violence occurred (although it was certainly on the cards), but it was when all the participating nations refused to talk to each other, turning off their screens one by one. They refused to share the information they had, thus limiting understanding and endangering the whole world.
So as my mind was still turning over all the ideas that the film had raised and as the time approached for me to write this post I thought I could talk about why eating together is such an important part of human life - indeed the fashionable sharing of bits and pieces and small plates is a logical extension of this. It's not an original thought of course. I don't have any of them - only geniuses have them. But it is one worth mentioning and I thought to illustrate it with art - we haven't had any art for a while.
Above is Renoir's famous Luncheon of the Boating Party in which a group of young people chat, and flirt and generally have a good time over lunch and a few drinks. Even those who generally regard eating as purely functional can be tempted to linger over a meal with friends and in the process become involved in discussions about life, the universe and everything, and maybe form new relationships. It has to be informal though. An official kind of banquet is far too restricting because of concerns over saying the wrong thing, wearing the wrong dress and general etiquette. My guess is that world leaders do meet for informal meals every now and then, and this is probably where more is achieved than at the official functions.
So feasts and celebratory occasions with friends and family are times when inhibitions may be left behind and secrets are revealed - or at least another side of one's personality. And I suppose the lubrication of the alcohol plays as great, if not greater, part in this than the food. The notorious office Christmas party is an example, as are weddings, although Brueghel's wedding feast below would seem to be at an early stage.
The really important meals though, are the daily family meals. And it seems there is a decline in families eating together around a table. Parents are too busy, children have too many outside activities, there are other distractions - mostly electronic. Many are not eating together at all, and those that do are eating, probably rubbish food, in front of the television. Not much chance of communication there - or is there? Maybe the television itself becomes the topic of conversation. I've never watched that TV reality program that watches people watching television, but the snatches I have seen would suggest that people are communicating in a way. However, it's not the same as sitting around a table talking about the day's events and what they mean to you. There is a saying "the family that eats together stays together", although I think it is a misquote of families praying together. Nevertheless the research that I saw reference to implies that the fact that families are no longer eating together is producing dysfunctional adults. Certainly my family always ate together in the evening and there were many discussions and sometimes loud arguments about life, the universe and everything. My father was often not there (he was a sailor), but this did not prevent the rest of us sparring around the dinner table. Apparently this habit increases sociability, vocabulary and confidence, even brain power, decreases drug use, and all the other undesirable things that happen to teens and on and on. And we have been doing this for a very long time.
Even if the meal is very meagre, as in Van Gogh's Potato Eaters, there is still something to be gained by coming together and communicating. Television, and now iPads and other electronic devices have a lot to answer for.
So gather your family in. Make them all sit down and talk to each other about their day and what is going on in their lives, over a nourishing meal. Reach out. Communicate. If you don't try you may miss out on vital information and more meaningful relationships.
