Target reached - so?

“know what you want, work to get it, then value it once you have it.” Nora Roberts

I should be jubilant. Today I reached, for the first time, my target weight of 60kg. I should be shouting it to the world, yet here I am at nearly 3.00 in the afternoon and I've only just told my husband. But truth to tell I feel a bit flat. It should be a red letter day - a day to celebrate. After all it has taken me over two years to get here. It would have been slightly less if I hadn't had six weeks holiday in France. Before I went I was less than half a kilo away from my target. When I came back I was over a kilo, nearly two over it. So that was a bit of a step back. But I wouldn't have done it any other way. What is the point of going to France and not eating what you feel like every day?

My doctor told me it would take a year - I was aiming to lose around 15kg, but in fact it has taken me just over two. And I have been pretty religious about not eating very much at all on my fasting days. Maybe it's because I'm old. Everything seems to be harder for the old. Bones break and take much longer to mend for example. You walk slower (not that I was ever a fast one). But these are excuses really.

At first I lost quite a bit of weight at a very satisfactory rate, but when I got down to about 61.5 kg, maybe 62 kg I slowed considerably, Maybe I was approaching my 'ideal' weight - do we have one? Maybe my body had got used to the 5/2 routine and didn't care any more. But I persevered and lo and behold today I was a mere 60kg. Not what I was for most of my life - around 50 kg, but then I was probably underweight then. No I'm pretty happy with 60kg and size 12. Size 10 might be nice. And if I was energetic I could probably achieve that with more exercise - bits of me are very flabby!

I think that I am not quite as jubilant as I might be because experience has taught me that even if I hit 60kg today it will be another few weeks before I am sustainably at 60kg. I shall probably go up again in a few days. So I shall continue with 5/2 until I am sure I am steadily around 60kg and then I might try 6/1.

Because I am a bit fed up with it. Not really because I get hungry. I don't really get hungry on my fast days. It's just pretty uninteresting not eating much and I don't have the fun of cooking something different. Well I could, but I'm lazy. (I'm deeply worried that if I am ever on my own again I shall not eat properly).

So I looked on the net, as you do, and of course this is a known psychological problem - 'success syndrome' or various other names have been given to it. Most of these articles were about business goals of course, not minor things like losing just a few kilos. For let's be honest, it is only a few kilos really. I was not grossly overweight and did not have to lose huge amounts of weight. Now that must be truly difficult. A modest aim that I set myself and I am pleased - yes deeply pleased really but, as I say, just a little bit flat.

How is one supposed to manage the 'success syndrome'? Well there was a lot of self-help jargon but two things I latched on to were set yourself another goal, and give yourself a present. Now I like the idea of the second one, but what? I have everything I could possibly need, and a dinner at Florentiono's with my lovely husband is just not going to happen because he doesn't really like going out to dinner and definitely won't go into the city. Besides our anniversary is coming up so no doubt we shall be having a really nice meal out somewhere anyway. A whole bunch of new and exciting cookery books perhaps. As for setting a new goal - does maintaining 60kg count?

"What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals." Zig Ziglar

What have I become? Well someone who has achieved a goal, Someone who looks a whole lot slimmer than a couple of years ago - which is good. I was getting pretty depressed if I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. And yes, I remember now. Another 'self-help' solution was to praise oneself - look back on your achievements and give yourself a high five. So yes I'm proud of myself for sticking at it. And I think I have learnt a little more self-discipline when it comes to food. I certainly shan't be rushing to the cake shop. Though I might treat myself to some strawberries and cream.

“You never know what's around the corner. It could be everything. Or it could be nothing. You keep putting one foot in front of the other, and then one day you look back and you've climbed a mountain.” Tom Hiddleston

Isn't it surprising that out of the mouths of probably extremely self-centred actors, come words of wisdom sometimes. Here are some more:

“There's no reason to have a plan B because it distracts from plan A.” Will Smith

Not quite relevant to the topic at hand, but almost.

This was very much an eating an elephant exercise. A little bit at a time. And whilst at times I wondered whether I was ever going to get there - particularly when I plateaued - it was absolutely the right way to go about it. And here I am - the new slim me. Target reached. So set yourself a target - a realistic one. There is no use in setting yourself something completely unrealistic. And go for it. One step at a time. And before you know it it will be mission accomplished and on to the next thing. Will have to think about that one.