A point of difference

“We are all equal in the fact that we are all different. We are all the same in the fact that we will never be the same. C. JoyBell C.

It's Sunday and I never cease to be amazed at how the AFR's luxury supplement Life and Leisure always gives me an idea for a blog post, however tangentially. Today's edition was mostly about food - but, of course, not the food that you and I eat. As you know I have often asked who this supplement is aimed at because it is always about super luxury. Living with millions, maybe even billions. And yet it gives me food for thought often.

Today's edition, and I suppose all of them really was about people who have made it, and people who are striving to do something different. The people who have made it were highlighted in an article on the long stayers in Australia's restaurant world - Tetsuya Wakuda, Alla Wolf-Tasker et al. - and why they had managed to remain at the top of their game - what made them stand out from the crowd. There was also an article about an Irish Michelin starred chef, J.P. McMahon, here for Adelaide's food festival who was making a big thing about seaweed:

"Before the introduction of the potato to Ireland, seaweed was the staple foodstuff for all our coastal communities. I really believe it's the backbone of our new west Ireland cuisine. In Tartare (our cafe and wine bar) we use seaweed in soups, breads and desserts. Of course, it's central to the menu in Aniar. I like to use vibrant, green sea lettuce raw in seafood dishes, and make Irish dashi from kelp and mushrooms. Seaweed should be our new national vegetable." J.P. McMahon

And here is an example of one of his dishes - so today don't you think? Not sure which is the seaweed, but at least half of it I would think. I guess he is attempting to differentiate himself from the pack, not only through his skill as a chef, but also in the ingredients that he uses.

Then there were several examples of the new trends in gin - gin made with cherries, shiraz and a whole range of bush tucker things.

So basically it was all about a point of difference. What made these people, and, more importantly, their businesses stand out from the crowd. Which made me start wondering on whether, on an individual basis we all want to stand out from the crowd, or do we actually want to merge into the background.

As a child I remember I really didn't want to be noticed. I was aware of a difference in myself from people around me - this changed with my age and my circumstances - I was brainier than those around me, I was poorer than them, I was slimmer than them, I was no good at sport and they all were. These were all differences that I didn't want people to notice. I wanted to be the same as them. So I tried to disappear. And yet all the time, deep down, I really did want to be noticed for the unique and special individual that I was. Which I suspect is what most of us are like - although the balance may be the other way. The extroverts, often the achievers, try to stand out, although maybe deep down they would rather not be noticed. Like a film star disguising his appearance so that he won't be accosted by his fans.

Later in life I made feeble attempts to be noticed - to boys, to my employers, to my staff, to my family and now - in this blog I guess. But always I discovered that somebody had been there before me, thought the same thoughts, made the same mistakes, made the same decisions, looked and talked the same and I'm not sure whether to feel reassured or depressed about this. Does this mean that I'm not as, whatever it is I want to be, as I hoped or does it mean that we all want to be special? Should I be proud of wanting to stand out or should I be proud of being part of the crowd?

There is absolutely no doubt that we are all unique - even identical twins are never exactly the same. There is also no doubt that the media applauds success and that success is only achieved through some point of difference, something unique about your offering whatever field of endeavour you operate in. Although I have to say sometimes I wonder what that is. What makes each of those boutique jams different and worth buying for example? The name? - Daylesford (anything with Daylesford in it has cachet), Jam Lady Jam - a bit quirky, the ingredients - rosella jam springs to mind, the method and the story behind the making, the packaging, the name of the maker - Maggie Beer ... Bread too - why do people buy Irrewarra sourdough over Coles Rustic Baguette - snobbery? Does it really, really taste that much better? And today there is just so, so much choice. In my childhood there were just the massive multinationals - Heinz, Kellog, Unilever and the individual farmers and shopkeepers. Nothing in between. Now the in between is huge, as is the small business operating in a niche space, with some of the big businesses struggling and others swallowing up everyone in their path.

And what makes Woolworths different from Coles? What is their point of difference?

On a personal level we can only do what we can do to try to make ourselves special. And besides what does that mean? Special to who? To ourselves, to our partners, our family, our friends? Special in what way? I found a couple of reassuring quotes:

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.” Bernard M. Baruch

All well and good - but how do you know who you really are? We have so many selves within ourselves - which is the real one? I think I am probably more inclined to the following:

“Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.” Mahatma Gandhi

Which can be interpreted in so many ways. I think I just need to be braver, though it's probably too late now.