What to do with failure

"when I have followed a recipe to the letter, not making any substitutions (which is exceedingly rare) and it still tastes a bit, well, blah, then I feel cheated." WTF do I eat tonight?

We had friends over for lunch yesterday. The picture on the left is of my main course. Or rather it's what I thought my main course was going to look like. It's from the book. I didn't take a photo I'm afraid, but my finished dish basically looked anaemic, the apricots looked pale too and very unappetising, and it was swimming in a very runny, watery sauce. I hasten to add that it was quite eatable, but as the lady in my quote says - blah!

It came from Nigel Slater's Kitchen Diaries no. 3 and he called it Lamb chops and apricots on focaccia. Why did I choose it? Well there were a number of factors. I had just the right number of lamb chops in my freezer, it was very simple, not too heavy, and the picture was tempting. His introduction to the recipe was tempting too:

"Today, some chops. Thick cut, cooked with juniper and apricots. I sit them on a slice of toasted focaccia, for the sole reason of soaking up the glossy juices. Toast soaked with lamb gravy? Oh yes please." Nigel Slater

Generally speaking I do tend to fiddle with recipes, like the lady in my quote, but not this time. Other than not going for the focaccia that is, but this was because one of my friends is truly gluten intolerant. So I took his other suggestion of mashed potatoes instead. So not really meddling at all. And after a few recent failures of my own made-up things thrown together from the fridge, I have been trying to go back to actual recipes again. And, as you know, Nigel Slater is a bit of a hero of mine. Indeed my special Friday meal was a Nigel Slater recipe - for chorizo and beans - and that was a success. When I think about it though, although I quote him a lot, because he writes so well about food, I'm not sure that I have made a lot of his dishes. And now I'm asking myself if I should persevere with him or not.

Reflecting on my failure, my friend (she is a bit of a gourmet and a really good cook) and I agreed that there was too much liquid and that the sauce would have been more intense if it had been reduced. The juices were definitely not 'glossy'. They were watery in the worst tradition of English stews. Basically it was a really simple recipe - you fried the chops, added the liquid (cider) and the juniper and apricots, then put it in the oven to cook - with the lid on. I was so intent on doing the right thing by Nigel and following his instructions that I ignored my instincts twice, maybe thrice. And I think if I had followed them it would have been a better dish.

First mistake. He said put in 700ml of cider. Which is quite a lot - a large can and then some. He had four large chops, I had eight smaller ones, but the weight of meat was the same, so I reasoned the same amount of liquid would be OK. My first can of cider was 500ml so I put it all in. I thought it was a lot and was going to stop there, but then I decided to continue to do as I was told so I put in another goodly slurp from my second can. Well I reasoned - the dried apricots would absorb the liquid. And they did absorb some, but not enough. And it made them pale, not orange.

My second mistake was to put the lid on when I put it in the oven. For this probably created more liquid. Even then I could have retrieved the disaster by boiling down the sauce at the end. Tthird mistake.) But that would only have partly retrieved the situation I think. It would not have made the chops look attractively singed as in the photo, or made the apricots a vibrant orange rather than a washed out almost beige. They certainly weren't charred as in the photo. Even if I had had better quality apricots I doubt they would have looked any different. And they tasted watery too, not juicy and fruity.

It's lack of confidence isn't it? Who am I to argue with the great Nigel Slater?

And where I go from here is an interesting question too.

"If at first you don't succeed, then try, try, try again." Proverb

So should I? Try again that is. Should I see if I can improve on Nigel Slater? And if I do and if I succeed - where does that leave me? I remember reading somewhere recently that if you don't succeed with something then you should keep at it until you get it right. I think that might be an OK thing with respect to something basic like making an omelette or roasting beef, something that you really need to master. But do you need to try again with a recipe for a specific dish? Why not just move on to the next? After all there are so many more that you could try. It's a bit like books. I mostly, indeed almost exclusively, do not reread books - there are too many new ones to discover. Winnie-the-Pooh might be my only exception to this rule. So do I see this failure as a challenge, or just one of those things to shrug one's shoulders over? Not a dish to make again. Move on. Maybe a cook to approach with caution even. What can I learn from this experience?

After all, as Julia Child says, "Cooking is one failure after another, and that's how you finally learn." Not that it's just cooking that benefits from the same approach. It's life really. Life is one long learning process, and it's the mistakes you make that teach you the most. If only not to do that again. And as you learn you are able to fix the next mistake more quickly.

"Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently."

Henry Ford

Truth to tell though I didn't follow Henry Ford's advice here. For I was not a novice cook. I should have followed my instincts and not put in so much liquid, and not put the lid on - or at least tried to right the mistake by boiling it all down. And I still don't really understand why I didn't. Henry Ford would have me try it again - or is he just saying that I shouldn't give up on Nigel Slater, or any other recipe writer for that matter, but that I should also use my own knowledge and experience when trying again?

"why would you mess with it, and potentially make food that's less fun to eat? I'll tell you why, my friends — you mess with it to learn." Claire Lower - Lifehacker

And like the lady from WTF do I eat today? I am actually rarely completely faithful to a recipe. I fiddled slightly with both my other dishes yesterday - in this instance to accommodate my guest's food intolerances which are genuine, not fashionable - but I often fiddle for a number of different reasons from not having a particular ingredient to hand, to thinking a dash of something else might improve things. With respect to recipe writers though, it is interesting isn't it how some translate better to the plate than others? I have rarely had failures with Robert Carrier, Delia Smith, Beverley Sutherland Smith or Madhur Jaffrey. There have been a few very occasional failures with Elizabeth David - fewer than successes, more with Stephanie Alexander and Donna Hay - but some successes too.

"failure is funny, and makes for great story-telling." Claire Lower - Lifehacker

Well sometimes. But I think the failure has to be rather more spectacular than last night's. Mine was just miserable - yes , blah - and really my fault. I should have known better and I definitely should have had more confidence in myself.

The cake was pretty nice though - maybe a tiny bit too much cinnamon and the syrup could have been thicker (again I did not follow my instincts and just followed the recipe). And the first course, pomegranate and herb salsa over fried fish bits was pretty divine. I'll hang on to that and try it again. It didn't quite look like the picture because I cut my fish into small pieces and fried them, rather than grilling one big piece - it was an entrée after all, and there was no onion (I substituted chives) because my friend is fructose intolerant and cannot eat onions. And the pomegranate from the garden was superb.

But do I give up on Nigel Slater? Well definitely not as a food writer anyway. There'll be lots more food quotes from him to come.