End of the year, end of the turkey
"Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us." Hal Borland
It's New Year's Eve, and many people will be partying tonight. Not us this year. Which is a bit of a relief. I think I have always felt that New Year's Eve parties were somewhat artificial - with everyone waiting for that countdown and those artificial or unwanted kisses at midnight - unless you are madly in love of course. I wonder where that tradition came from? It must have been from men.
I have realised however, that I am a tiny bit superstitious in that as I turned over the page in my diary I realised that I might just as well start on my new diary. The whole week just happens to have one day from 2018 in it so I might as well. But something is still making me hang on to my 2018 diary. Tomorrow is for turning to the new diary, the new year. A new beginning.
“For last year's words belong to last year's language And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.” T.S. Eliot, Four Quartets
But it isn't really a new beginning is it? It's just another day. An artificial number. It's not even a number of significance to many other people in the world who number their years differently. It means nothing to the Chinese for example, and probably a whole lot of other cultures too, though I am ashamed to say I do not know enough to say where or who they are. Although - of course I am writing of our own New Year's Day. The Chinese at least have one - it's just a different date.
So ... A number changes and it's a time to reflect.
This year it will be just a reflection on the past year. At the end of next year, it will be on the decade, and who can forget the turn of the millennium? All those fears of the end of the world as we knew it with the millennium bug, and an enormous sense of the future arriving with a bang - a brave new world. It was a truly major thing. We even threw a New Year's Day party for it seemed to us more appropriate to celebrate the arrival of the new millennium than the end of the old one. I shall not see another century pass, and not many decades either, though hopefully at least one - next year. I wonder will humankind see another millennium?
“Hope Smiles from the threshold of the year to come, Whispering 'it will be happier'...” Alfred Lord Tennyson
So I am happily and superstitiously resisting the urge to turn to a new diary before time, and am about to reflect on the year. Beginning with my New Year Resolutions for 2018. There were a few and I was very hopeful of achieving them. I thought they were realistically modest. But no - I failed on almost all of them. Interestingly my main successes were in the food part of my life.
'Cook something new from a recipe every week'. I probably didn't manage it every week, but pretty much. I instituted David's special choice day and ran with it. And it worked in that I tried a few new things, and had to think a bit, because some of the challenges were a bit vague - 'sumptuous but light' is one that I remember and wrote about. I wrote about others too. They were a good source of inspiration for the blog.
'One dinner party a month'. I did quite well for about half the year and then, somehow I gave up. I'm not sure why. A diminishing pool of people to invite? Well sort of but what's the problem there? I could always invite people again. But then you might make people uncomfortable if they haven't invited you back. Why haven't they? Don't they like you? Are they uncomfortable about entertaining? Are they just too busy? Or is it just that time flies by and they don't get around to it? Well I certainly don't want to embarrass anyone and so I stopped doing it. And, by the way, I'm sure it's just because time flies and before you know it it's new year.
'Maintain 60kg, exercise and diet". I've done pretty well on this one. The weight has remained stable and I have pretty much kept up the two or three walks a week. Except for the last few weeks - my fall down by the river which made me a bit incapacitated for a time, all those Christmas things, visitors, etc., etc. But my back is Ok now so I shall get back to it. I shall only be defeated by heat. Crossing fingers on that one. Although I suppose one could always go to Doncaster and walk up and down there.
And I did more or less write a blog post a day, although that wasn't actually a resolution.
But all those others - complete failure. They involved returning more consistently to my other hobby - family history. Mind you I did transfer my old family history website - well the people anyway - to a new one. That was a lot of work and I feel quite satisfied with that. And I did do the Ancestry DNA thing - got the results today - no surprises there - 82% England, Wales and NW Europe with mostly South-east England and East Anglia, 11% Scotland and Ireland - I don't think they can distinguish between the two and I think it's virtually all Ireland - and the exotic 7% of Swedish. But I knew that too. Lots more to explore about it so that will be something to look forward to.
As for decluttering, reading more books and seeing more films - complete failure. Do I dare resolve on these again?
I wonder who first thought of New Year resolutions? A quick scan of the net seems to suggest the Babylonians 4,000 years ago - it's a religious quid pro quo thing. "If I do this for you God, will you do this for me?" I actually think this is the one good thing about New Year. Because of the custom of making them, every year we do it again, however bad we have been about keeping them before. It makes us stop and think about how we could be a better person - in big ways and small ones. Although, of course:
“I hope you realize that every day is a fresh start for you. That every sunrise is a new chapter in your life waiting to be written.” Juansen Dizon, Confessions of a Wallflower
It's harder to do it on a daily basis though isn't it? You might just wake up in a bad mood. So a significant date is convenient, and what could be more significant than the beginning of a new year.
Anyway enough about that. This year the end of the year is going to neatly coincide with the end of the turkey. Here is what I have to deal with today.
Doesn't it look awful? A sad testament to all manner of things, that I don't like to think of. Is this the year I turn vegetarian? No - but I should definitely resolve on at least one vegetarian day per week. Well we sort of do that anyway, but maybe I should write it down. Anyway the remains are to be turned into a sauce for pasta I think and oodles of stock. The pasta will have zucchini, peppers and silver beet from the garden I think. And maybe a touch of cream and the remains of some prosecco to toast the end of a good year - for all in all it was a good year.
According to T.S. Eliot in his poem at the top of the page "next year's words await a different voice." Well I don't think my voice will change much - it will ramble on in the same mindless way that it has for the past two and half years. And I'm still sufficiently interested to keep at it. It would be nice to think that I will become a different, better person, with a new voice, but I don't think so. And it would be very nice if many of the political voices in the world changed to different ones. They will here, but I doubt it will make much difference. The world is in a bit of a parlous state at the moment. Let us hope that someone great will come along and change everything for the better. In the meantime in my little world I will try to do better.
"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year." Ralph Waldo Emerson
