Olde England

"Ode to school mash

At school we have mash,

which tastes just like Flash,

But we're told it is good for our tummies.

We don't doubt their word,

But the mash is absurd

And we'd rather have something more yummy."

Nancy, Ella and Belinda Clark and Colette Coverdale, Piddletrenthide School

This children's ditty is found at the beginning of my lucky dip book - The Piddle Valley Cookbook.

I suppose it's obvious that this is a lucky dip. But then I am totally uninspired and I have time on my hands and so it would be really lazy not to do anything at all.

So my lucky dip turned up this small publication, which dates from 1978 according to the publisher's info. And it is indeed published properly as it were. I think from the foreword written by the vicar responsible for the whole thing, it was first published locally, probably in a less professional manner, and then taken up by the London publishing firm of Barrie and Jenkins. My copy is signed, rather shakily it seems to me, by the vicar, one Derek Parry.

I'm not sure where I got it from. I think my sister-in-law gave it to me - perhaps as a reminder of quaint olde England. For it is full of quaint olde English recipes. Most of them not that enticing. I don't think I have ever actually cooked anything from it but I am loathe to throw it out. It's so very English.

And I have to say the drawings at the front of each chapter and on the cover and title page - shown here - are really rather lovely. But the artist gets no credit at all. I have looked everywhere and all I can find is a signature/name at the foot of the picture of the church on the back cover, which I think is T.L. Grassby. and I can find no reference to this person anywhere on Google. A fine artist unknown and unrewarded perhaps. These drawings remind me of the ones in Jane Grigson's books, but then maybe it's just a style. Here is the one of the church anyway.

I wonder do these kind of books still exist? It used to be a way of raising money. I even vaguely remember contributing myself to one somewhere - a school or a kinder perhaps. And, of course, this one too was conceived as a way of raising money for the restoration of the church which was in very poor repair. I do not know if they managed to save it.

The Piddle Valley is in Dorset - a most beautiful part of south-west England, immortalised by Thomas Hardy in his novels. It's archetypal English countryside really. Soft, green and ancient.

"The scenery here is nothing short of stunning, with a patchwork of fields spread out like a huge picnic blanket criss-crossed by footpaths and bridleways." Just About Dorset

Beautiful it may be but I have to say the cooks are really not that adventurous. You would think, would you not, that you would really think hard and produce something particularly tasty for such a publication. If you want it to be a success that is. But the page I turned up did not offer much inspiration I have to say. This was published in 1978. Surely you would think that the preaching of Elizabeth David et al. would have reached Dorset by then. But then again, maybe not.

My page is in the puddings section and it has five recipes. One is hardly a recipe, (making chocolate leaves, by pouring melted chocolate over rose leaves), one is good - but it's summer pudding and a pretty straightforward recipe at that. Then there's Peach Caramels, which consists of peeling and halving some peaches. Sandwiching them with cream and pouring a caramel sauce over them. You keep the halves together with cocktail sticks. I assume the caramel sets, at which point you remove the sticks, top with cream and sprinkle with nuts. Maybe - if your peaches were really excellent, but I don't think so really. Then there's Ginger and Pear Fluff. It's kind of a jelly made with tinned, crushed and sieved pears, cream, whisked egg whites, and crushed ginger nut biscuits. The last one with at least an original title - Let's Get Rid of the Christmas Cake has a bit of potential perhaps. So I'll give you these last two recipes - just as a demonstration of the kind of cooking they seem to think is worth publishing. You would have thought that by the 1970s they would have moved on a bit, because to me they smack of the 50s and 60s.

GINGER AND PEAR FLUFF

1 small tin slice pears in syrup

1 level teaspoon gelatine

Rind of 1 small lemon

45g ginger biscuits, crushed

2 tablespoons double cream

1 egg white

Drain pears, retaining syrup. Rub pears through sieve and stir in 2 tablespoons of the syrup. Dissolve gelatine in 2 more tablespoons of the syrup over hot water. Stir dissolved gelatine and lemon rind into the pears and leave in a cold place until starting to set. Whisk together the cream and a further teaspoon of the syrup until thick. Whisk egg white until thick. With a metal spoon, fold the whisked cream and egg white and the ginger biscuits into the pear mixture. Leave until set.

Robert Carrier was a bit of a fan of tinned pears, saying they were really like a completely different but tasty fruit.

'LET'S GET RID OF THE CHRISTMAS CAKE'

Christmas cake

sherry or brandy

frozen raspberries

3 eggs and 275ml cream mixed together

Demerara sugar

Put crumbled slice of cake into individual ramekin dishes, with a dash of sherry or brandy on each. Pour on egg and cream mixture. Bake for 20 minutes at 190ºC. Cool. Cover with layer of raspberries and thick layer of demerara sugar. Caramelise under very hot grill.

Not quite sure why the raspberries have to be frozen - but then I guess it's Christmas and there are no raspberries at Christmas in England.

So there you are - what country cooks back in the 1970s were cooking, or thinking was clever enough to reproduce in a cookery book.

i shouldn't mock - I suppose that's what I'm doing - but I have to admit I found it a bit depressing that these ladies - and some men too - couldn't come up with something better - even if it was somebody else's recipe. But then I suppose if you are publishing properly as they were, you would run into copyright issues if you used somebody else's recipe. But I still think you could come up with something a bit better.

I wonder if the good people of the Piddle Valley today have been inspired by the moderns - Delia, Jamie, Nigella, Nigel et al. and the variety of goods in their local supermarkets, to be more adventurous? Trip Advisor certainly seems to have several highly rated restaurants - virtually all of them very English sounding - with one called the Brace of Pheasants and featuring a gamey sort of menu. So I wonder if it has filtered down to the inhabitants?

The Victorians by the way tried to change the name of the River Piddle to the River Puddle because of its association with pee. Obviously the modern day citizens don't mind. The village names are just lovely - Alton Pancras, Piddletrenthide, Plush and Piddlehinton.