Porridge

"porridge is no more Scottish than Rod Stewart ... In 1001 variations globally, porridge has always been with us."

Tony Naylor - The Guardian

In fact the archaeologists think that people were eating porridge around 32,000 years ago. At its most basic - see above - it's a grain cooked with a liquid until mushy. And around the world people still eat variations of this. The Chinese and Japanese for example have congee for breakfast - I remember they used to serve it at Club Med because they had so many Japanese guests. It always looked pretty revolting to me . In this instance I think the grain is rice. And it tends to be savoury rather than sweet I think.

Here is a fancy version of congee from Yotam Ottolenghi. His article also has two other global versions of porridge - one from Brazil and one from the Middle-East. They all look rather more appetising than your basic porridge at the top of the page. But I'm also guessing that the basic versions of each one as eaten by the locals also don't look quite as appetising.

But then modern porridge doesn't necessarily look grim either, because:

"frankly, even the greatest porridge (patiently toasted pinhead and all), is no revelatory taste sensation. The real flavour elevation is in the toppings ... this is not a savoury dish. Or, rather, it is a savoury dish which, to bring it to its fullest expression, you sweeten" Tony Naylor - The Guardian

donna hay coffee and date

jamie

Above are just two examples - one from Donna Hay (on the left - she has six different versions) - this one is Coffee and date porridge and one from Jamie Oliver - well his is more generic. He calls it Porridge lots of ways, and suggests several different ways of making the basic porridge more appetising. And I'm sure this is the kind of thing you will find in breakfast cafés everywhere - porridge made with oats, but also things like quinoa and spelt as well, with toppings of all kinds of fruit, nuts and seeds and maybe some yoghurt too.

Personally I loathe porridge. Which, when I come to think of it, is a bit strange. After all I like creamy, milky things, dare I even say mushy, like rice pudding, and I like the flavour of oats, so why not porridge? Maybe it's because we didn't have it at home and the only time, I think, that I tasted it was on a geography field course in the sixth form in Staffordshire. We had it for breakfast every day and I almost threw up every day - it was sickly sweet and milky all at the same time. And a bit lumpy I think. I think it was the lumps that did it.

So why am I writing about it? Well it's another of those coincidence things. Last night one of Shaun Micallef's skits featured porridge. To tell the truth I'm not entirely sure what he was targeting, porridge itself, food delivery services like Uber Eats and food boxes or maybe even politics. Anyway it made me think about doing something on porridge and then today in my Italian class we briefly talked about breakfast with one of our Chinese participants talking about congee. So I thought that it was a sign!

I might loathe it but there are lots of people out there who love it and wax lyrical about its taste and its health benefits. Which I wouldn't argue with. Topped with the right things you have probably got virtually all your basic nutritional needs right there in one dish. And this is also the reason why it has been a basic food, and continues to be so, in one form or another, since 32,000 years ago. Gruel, pottage, grits - these are the less tempting names, but what about things like risotto - that's sort of a porridge after all isn't it?

But what we anglo nations know as porridge, we have probably come to think of as Scottish. Although when Felicity Cloake did her usual thing she thought the best one she tasted was from Ireland. And we know that there is a lot of argument about any 'authentic' dish, but this one which is basically just three ingredients - oats, milk/water, salt has endless arguments about what to use and how to cook it. Rolled oats, jumbo oats, pinhead oats, oatmeal - water, milk (full-fat, skimmed or light), even cream. It's a regular minefield. But, as Felicity Cloake says, it's good to experiment.

"Scottish traditionalists insist that porridge should contain nothing more than oats, water and salt, but such an attitude strikes me as depressingly dour: after all, if no one had ever experimented, then we'd still be eating be eating pease pottage, morning, noon and night." Felicity Cloake

Mind you, these days experimentation can be extreme - witness Heston Blumenthal's signature dish, Snail porridge. Yes snails.

That's fennel on the top I think with snails underneath it. You'd have to wonder how many times this particular dish has been made. Another reason for not being a chef. is justification for going savoury is that:

"porridge itself is not sweet. It is a grain, just as rice is, and the idea with this dish is simply to use oats as you would rice." Heston Blumenthal

Well why not? And in spite of all those other chefs saying you should stick to sweet, Gill Meller, one of the River Cottage people, is another one who likes it savoury.

"Savoury porridge is a favourite dish of mine. Soften shallots or onions with garlic in butter and olive oil, then add herbs and some pre-soaked pinhead or medium oatmeal. Stir in chicken stock so the grains absorb the liquid, just as if cooking a risotto. In the spring, I like to finish this with a bright green purée of blanched fresh nettles, and top it with more nettles wilted in butter, or some fish, scallops or crisp bacon. An all-year version can be topped with halved onions, roasted with sage until tender. This is great with roast birds, or as a vegetarian comfort food with a few toasted hazelnuts."

Very nuts and berries. I mean - nettles - though nettles are surprisingly good. But you get the picture.

As to the way you cook it - well it does sound a bit like risotto to me. You just keep stirring basically.

"The important thing is that porridge should be creamy in texture (lots of stirring required), but with enough chewy bite to keep it interesting. Toasting brings out the flavour of the oats, and a little milk gives it a silky richness that would horrify puritans north of the border – the sugar situation, however, is up to your conscience." Felicity Cloake

Oats are now one of those top health foods. You can buy them in a myriad of ways, and they crop up in all sorts of recipes. So maybe the poor peasants had it right all along.

But it's a long, long way from what these peasants are eating to snail porridge à la Heston Blumenthal isn't it?

Whilst i was 'researching' this topic I came across Tony Naylor in the Guardian who really said everything there is to say - backed up by Felicity Cloake who told you how to actually cook it. Sometimes I really don't know why I bother.

"At its best, porridge is defined by cohesive, complementary contrasts; flavours and textures that click together as satisfyingly as the proverbial Volkswagen car door. Think of the contrast between that savoury, nutty base and its sweeter toppings; the hot grains and cold milk: that wan canvas and the bright fruits on top; the gloopy, cereal texture of the porridge and its softer or harder garnishes: from jams and compotes or pert fruits that pop in the mouth to large nuts coddled in the warm, nubbly embrace of the porridge." Tony Naylor