When husbands have to cook

This is exactly our situation at the present moment, though my lovely husband seems, a bit surprisingly, somewhat daunted by the task. The husband here has made a rather large rhubarb pie, which is also a bit typical of what a man might do - something elaborate but over the top perhaps.

I don't really understand why my husband is daunted at the prospect of having to cook - well other than having to do yet more domestic tasks. Because I don't think it's just that it's a bind to have to do it, it's a bit of nervousness about what to cook. But why? After all he makes superb bread and a pretty cool ham omelette, and back in the day he used to cook the occasional elaborate dish either devised in his own head or from a recipe book.

But now that I am in exactly the same state as the lady in the picture he seems very unsure. Actually my foot is in an even bigger bandage, but the enormity of the bandage does not really mean that I am terribly ill. In fact I am fine, just a bit crippled and ordered to stay either lying or sitting down with my leg up. So no cooking for me for the next couple of weeks. I specifically asked if I could do this and was told a very definite no.

He actually seems just a tiny bit disgruntled about the whole thing which makes me feel doubly guilty. For guilty I do feel. I have not really allowed him to cook over the years. I have considered it my domain, particularly of late when he has taken on a whole lot of the other domestic (and non domestic tasks) that we women did in our younger days. Back then I did almost everything, including the household accounts, now our positions are reversed and almost the only thing I am left with is the cooking. He's really a bit of a hero that way. So this minor hiccup has been a little bit revelatory to us both I think.

I suspect that deep down neither of us is a good nurse. Well I know I'm not and I don't think he is either. We both get too alarmed by the other's condition I think. Not that I need a lot of nursing here. Just the occasional help with moving a chair or bagging up my foot for a shower, but it does mean I can't do a lot of things.

But back to the cooking. As I said before, David is really quite a good cook, and he used to enjoy cooking - at least occasionally. He still likes to barbecue, maybe a little too enthusiastically, but that's OK. I know my sister's husband cooks every now and then, maybe even once a week. He may well have a limited repertoire, but that's alright. Maybe I should try and get David to do this every now and then. Like most men though he won't use recipes - these days anyway. Well men are notorious for not reading instructions aren't they? In the past he seemed quite confident in throwing things into a pot of some kind and creating something tasty - most usually with rice. A stir fry or a pasta sauce is quite easy after all isn't it? Apparently my nephew says a stir fry is just "things cooked quickly with gravy". A statement which would probably make most Asian cooks hit the roof with rage. But it's sort of right. Ditto for a pasta sauce - throw some ingredients in a pot - tomatoes or cream or wine will create the liquid and then toss with pasta.

So I don't quite know how to encourage him. Should I suggest cheat things like Patak's curry pastes, easy things like sausages and baked beans, or direct him to easy recipes? I did make a quick and easy cookbook for my kids way back then - maybe I'll send him a copy of that. Even great chefs have some very simple ideas sometimes. I have to say too, that is very frustrating not even being able to show him where things are because I am not very mobile.

There's also the problem of what is in the fridge at the moment and whether he will use the veggies in the veggie box. There are quite a few capsicum and zucchini for example and some of that red spinach which I suspect he won't know what to do with. Or he doesn't like that much, so they will just go off. I really wasn't thinking when we went to the market last week. I must suggest a stir fry.

One thing I know is that he is very good on the washing up - which he has always done. Now how many wives can say that?

But if it turns out that we eat a bit of takeaway in the next two weeks - so be it. And I'll try and cook all his favourite things when I am up and about again. Which I hope will be quicker than they all think.